Though I could not see it, my daughter was in God's hands the entire time. I'm ashamed to admit that, because it means I admit it without having had the faith to see it at the time. I'm embarrassed by my actions, but hopefully someone can learn from them. So here's the rest of the story.
Apparently, the Navy has a safety valve in the detailing process. Any orders given to someone who has an Exceptional Family Member (we're category 4 out of 5) has to have their orders screened by the EFMP staffer at the detailer office. I had no idea.
We had already made contact with Samantha's future providers on base at Dahlgren, and everyone there was very sweet and helpful, particularly toward Alicia as she dealt with the reality of our situation. And when it came down to it, they didn't think we should be there any more than we did. They knew that Dahlgren could not truly support us.
So I got a call asking me if they could inform the EFMP staffer in the detailing office to have my orders canceled. I couldn't believe I was hearing it. I started welling up and being overcome with shame. I knew I had sinned against my Father. I was so grateful and embarrassed at the same time! I thanked the nurse profusely and hung up. Two days later, I called my detailer to find out that we were being reassigned to Great Lakes Naval Station, north of Chicago, which is no more than a half hour from a treatment center.
Alicia and I know that cystic fibrosis isn't a quick killer. Samantha probably wouldn't have died in Virginia. However, we are convinced that her life would have been shortened by being so far from proper care. Her quality of life has been strengthened just by the fact that we're going to be much closer to a treatment center. God has provided.
God has been kind to me, refusing to take me on like Job. Nevertheless, I feel like Job a little, particularly in Chapter 40:
4 "I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
5 I spoke once, but I have no answer—
twice, but I will say no more."
God spared my family a lot of heartache when he provided for the wonderful nurse and the EFMP contact in Virginia, as well as the safety valve in the detailing process. He knew, long before I did, that he had no intention of taking us through Dahlgren. Instead, he forced us to rely on him (Alicia did so much better than I did!). In the end, our daughter was placed in God's hands, and he proved to be a magnificent father.
2 comments:
Jacob was the same. When God had done everything to protect his family from famine and set his son up as prime minister of Egypt, all Jacob could see was, "everything's against me!"
That about sums it up Don! Unfortunately, I had definitely had a bad attitude. I'm glad that's passed me.
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