Overcoming a Disadvantage

We fathers can find ourselves at a disadvantage. If we don't show enough interest in our child's activities, we are proclaimed to be distant, and if we show too much, we can come across as demanding and trying to live vicariously through our children.

I've learned how not to do this. The information might not be something everyone can use, but maybe it can help someone, and if so, then I'm all for it. So here goes:

T had his swim lessons yesterday, and I watched him having a great time. He jumped in when his instructor told him to, swam exactly how the instructor taught him, and laughed happily the entire time. I was so impressed with him. I wanted to show that pleasure in my heart, so I walked over to the edge of the pool while the instructor was showing a different child how to do a certain stroke, and I tapped him on the head.

"Nice job T!" I said. Then I clapped my hands a few times and walked away.

T was ecstatic...like beaming he was so happy! He knew that his father was proud of him at that moment. And that is important. I want him to know that I love him unconditionally, such as when he threw a fit at the end of the lessons because a jump didn't go right, but I also want him to know that it pleases me when he does well and when he is happy with himself.

We as fathers can show our pleasure in our kids without looking overbearing or distant. The smile on my son's face proves it.